Recent Developments

Things my daughter can do:

• Hold her head up (and steady) for several seconds,
• Spit her milk out like a camel,
• Grab my glasses during feedings,
• Do yoga (babies are so flexible!), and
• Belch the alphabet (okay, maybe not, but if she knew the alphabet, she could fit in into one good belch).

She's so awesome, and she makes the cutest face when she farts!

We are finally beginning to settle into a groove with Brittney. I actually found time today to do yoga and go for a walk, and Andy was gone most of the day! The dishes and laundry are done... or they will be before I go to bed tonight.

Now that I'm finding time in my days, and now that Andy is mentally stable again, I can pay myself a little attention. That attention started this morning when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in my skivvies... wow. I know it's only been 3 weeks, but.... wow. I know, I know... I'm still fairly thin (although I'm 20 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight), but that's not it... I look like a deflated balloon, one that was recently way over inflated. I guess I hadn't noticed since I'd been so focused on Brittney and Andy. That vision inspired me to start yoga again and get back into running (starting with a walk). I also need to eat healthier than I have been, so I started the day off by cutting up an apple and mixing it with a small container of vanilla yogurt, a small box of raisins, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. It was delicious! Healthy feels good... nevermind that I ate almost a fourth of a bag of chocolate chips as a snack this afternoon. Mmmmm....

She's Growing!

We went back to Vanderbilt yesterday for another check-up. Brittney weighed 8lbs and measured 21 inches! She's growing like a champ. She'll be 3 weeks old on Friday, and I can't even remember what it was like to be pregnant! With everything that's been going on, it feels like it's been forever since she was in my belly.

She and I went to Clarksville today with Jessica and Wade, which was exciting! I guess other people's kids just aren't as well behaved as mine because everyone who approached me asking how old she is was shocked that I was brave enough to venture out with such a young infant. All she does is sleep... it's easy!

At her doctor's appointment yesterday, her blood phe level had gone up to a 7, so we began her on a mixture of her regular formula and the phe-free stuff they gave us. I didn't know it, but this condition comes with a free gram scale and measuring equipment! We have to measure 73 grams of regular formula and 15 grams of phe-free formula and add water to make 20oz. We met another couple while we were there this time who have a 3 month old daughter with basically the exact same thing as Britt. Her phe tolerance is very similar to our daughter's, and it was very reassuring to talk to someone going through the exact same thing. Everyone's stories and prayers have been so helpful, but just to hear from someone who knows that it's going to be okay really put my mind at ease.

Andy is doing a lot better today.... A LOT better! After we got the call giving us instructions for mixing her formula, he seems to have realized that we'll be able to manage this and she'll be just fine. I'm glad because I'm not sure how much of this I could have handled. I guess you just do what you have to sometimes!

What day is it, again?

Tomorrow is Brittney's 2 weeks check-up, although she will technically be 2 weeks and 3 days old. It has been a very eventful week! I finally gained enough courage this week to take a shower during her nap (because I was starting to smell), which wasn't all that brave since I put her in the bathroom with me and cut my shower short the moment she started whimpering (in her sleep). I only got to shave one leg.

Brittney has also started cooing this week. Her Aunt Lauren got her a lamb that makes quiet nature sounds to help her sleep, but it doesn't help her sleep at all. She lays awake and talks to it. She's also decided that she doesn't like being swaddled anymore, despite her Daddy's commitment to continue swaddling for the first month of her life as the pediatrician suggested. (Notice I said "suggested," not "mandated," but whatever...)

We've begun to take people up on their offers of watching her while we catch some sleep. It's not her that's keeping us awake, she's only waking up once during the night to eat, and then she's down again within an hour. No, it's waiting for Tuesday that's keeping us awake at night. Andy has begun to sleep with the TV on to keep his mind from racing. He seems to be doing better, thanks to all the company and support we've received. After losing almost 15 pounds and countless hours of sleep, he's finally on a upward swing. This has made him sicker than Brittney will ever be! He went to the doctor on Friday and got something to help him get through this. I have kept busy taking care of a newborn, a husband, and my postpartum self, not to mention getting lessons ready to start my new job on maternity leave. Oh, and then there's the dishes, the laundry, the dog, getting groceries, and so on.... Whew! I'm never going to get to work out again, or read a book, or paint my toenails, or have friends! Maybe I'll put off continuing my Master's degree for another semester....

This past few weeks have been a serious roller coaster, and it's been much harder on him than it has on Brittney and me. Brittney doesn't have a care in the world, and I can honestly say that I am okay. Even if Brittney does have to be on a special diet, she'll probably be healthier than any of us. Besides, it's just food... it's not life.

I had better quit typing.... I just heard the dryer calling me, or was that the oven? No, it's my cell phone...

The morning after...

After a good night sleep (or as good of a nights sleep as one can get with a 10 day old baby), I feel a lot better about our situation. I think it's important to let you all know that Brittney is in no danger of brain damage since we caught this so early. No one will be able to tell a difference between her and any other kid unless we tell them. She will live a full and healthy life, just on a different diet than most of us. Also, this condition isn't like diabetes, with spikes and crashes. It's the gradual buildup of phe in her system over a long period of time that can cause problems. If left untreated, we probably wouldn't notice any differences in Brittney for a year or more. She would develop normally for a long time before beginning a slow decline. However, that's not going to happen because we know what's going on early. She's safe and she feels perfectly fine, except for the occasional bout of gas.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.

Brief Update

I want to start off by thanking those of you who have been our support the last few days. Andy and I really appreciate having such wonderful family and friends to lean on.

For those of you who don't know, Brittney has been diagnosed with a mild form of something called PKU. Basically, when we eat protein, our bodies have enzymes that break it down. There is a specific protein, called phenylalanine, or phe (pronounced "fee") for short, that Brittney's body is unable to adequately metabolize. If left untreated, the build-up of phe in her system can lead to brain damage and other complications. Normal phe levels for you and I would be a 1 or less. Levels between 2 and 6 are considered elevated, but non-threatening to her health. Anything above a 6 requires dietary changes and special formula. Currently, Brittney's phe is a 5.6, which is borderline. We go back in a week to have her tested again. The odds of a baby being born with PKU is 1 in 10,000. Only 6-8 babies in Tennessee have this every year. I can't even win a door prize at the faculty meetings! How is my baby the one to have this? Andy and I have been incredibly stressed the last few days.

The doctor's appointment today was a very surreal experience. Vanderbilt called this morning and said that her newborn screening definitely showed signs of PKU and they wanted her to come in today for more tests, so we drove to Nashville expecting to draw blood, check vitals, and go home to wait for results. Instead, we get to Vandy, and we're led to a room with a couch and a coffee-table, some toys even. The genetics specialist and a dietitian come in and begin talking about where to buy low-protein foods, and they're handing me pamphlets and handouts, showing me websites and support groups, offering to put us in touch with other parents who are dealing with the same thing. This is crazy! I'm going to wake up soon and none of this will be real.

We brought home this perfect little baby and all I want to do is play with her and love on her, but for the last few days, and especially today, every time I look at her I want to cry. I know this isn't the worst thing in the world, and that it's easily treatable with diet. Vanderbilt sells all kinds of low protein foods if it comes to limiting her diet. It's just so hard to know that she can't just live an easy, normal life. This is a lifetime disease. There is no finish line. I keep thinking "we'll get through this, we'll come out on the other side," but there is no other side. This is our lives now. In the grand scheme of things, this is small. I'm sure there are parents out there who's kids have much worse diseases who would like to shoot me for moping about what is essentially a diet issue. "So your kid can't eat beans, meat, and dairy.... at least you know they'll live!" I just wish she didn't have to deal with this. Just like every other parent, I just want her to be normal.

The important thing is that she has no idea anything is wrong. She can't feel this, and that's comforting.

Week One

I cannot believe that one week ago today I was laid up in a hospital bed in labor with my baby girl. She's been absolutely amazing this week! She sleeps for 2 to 3 hours at a time and only wakes up once (maybe twice) during the night. Andy and I have worked out a really good system to cover the night shifts. We trade off nights and mornings. Example: he wakes up with her at 1am so I can sleep, so I get up with her at 7am and he sleeps in; the next night, we swap. In the mornings, she stays up long enough to watch The Price is Right with her Daddy, then it's nap time for us both. We've been lucky to avoid the severe sleep deprivation (so far)! This week has been filled with so many funny little moments that I have tried so hard to make sure I remember. I get weepy (hormones?) when I think about her growing and changing so fast, I wish I could slow down time!

Speaking of hormones, here's a funny one... The three of us made our first venture to Sam's Club and Walmart the other day, about a 45 minute drive from home, and Brittney did GREAT! Her mother? ... Not so much. On the way home, she was a little fussy so I decided to sit in the back with her in case I needed to fix a bottle or sing a song or something. I noticed she was getting hot, so I took off her blanket and noticed (GASP!) a red spot where the buckle of her car seat had rubbed her leg. I swear when I first saw it, it looked like a blister, and what kind of mother would let her daughter sit there with that huge, awful blister?! A terrible mother!! That's what kind!!! ....... Brittney and I competed for loudest sob, and I think I won. Poor Andy.

And since we're sharing stories, here's another one... Our pediatrician is a very frugal man, and he told us not to waste money on powder or expensive wipe warmers. Instead, buy a cheap hair dryer, and hit her little tush with it after you wipe her down. Warm her up and dry her off... two birds, one stone. The first time we tried this, she loved it. But the second time.... Andy turned on the hair dryer (which wasn't even pointed at her bottom yet), and she kicked her legs back, lifted her little tushy, and waited calmly with the most content look on her face! IT WAS PRICELESS!!

Okay, she's needing my attention. Check back later today, I'll be putting a slideshow on the page for your visual enjoyment.

I know you all have been waiting desperately for some pictures of our new baby girl, Brittney Anne. She's an absolute doll! If you didn't already know, we had our baby on Friday, July 2, 2010. She weight 7 pounds, 6 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. Here's the Reader's Digest version of my experience giving birth:

Thursday evening, around 10:00pm, I began having contractions that felt pretty regular, much more regular (and more painful) that the contractions I had been having on and off the previous weeks. By 2:00 the next morning, the contractions were about 3 minutes apart and painful enough to be seriously distracting, so we packed up the car and headed to the hospital, a good 40 minute drive.

When we got there, the nurse said they would check my cervix then(dilated to a 1 at that point) and again in an hour to see if it had changed. An hour later, it hadn't changed, which was a sign of false labor, something they send you home for. Although my cervix hadn't changed, my contractions had gotten much closer, 1 minute apart, and much stronger, strong enough for me to become the moaning heifer that I swore I would never become! Oh yea, I was also throwing up.... a lot. They have me meds for that, which helped. Our nurse decided to keep an eye on me for a little longer because this clearly wasn't false labor. There wasn't anything false about it!

Two hours later, she came back and I had dilated to a 3 (Thank GOD!) and she admitted me shortly before changing shifts with another nurse. The new nurse was amazing. The anesthesiologist was about to get started on a C-section, and therefore would be unable to give me an epidural for quite some time. Our nurse scoured the hospital for someone else who could do it and came up with a seriously pissed off doctor. He man-handled me a bit getting the epidural, which hurt me terribly and pissed off Andy, but once the meds took effect and the pain stopped, I was singing his praises!

From there, it was smooth sailing! I laughed, slept, and dilated exactly 1 cm per hour and pushed for 15 minutes before giving birth to a wonderfully alert, bright eyed baby girl at 5:58 that evening.

Our stay was also wonderful thanks to some truly amazing nurses and hospital staff. Murray Calloway County Hospital is the place to be if you're having a baby! We were discharged on Sunday, the 4th of July, and brought Brittney home wrapped in an American flag. She was quiet the whole way home.

She's been an absolute doll since we've been home, and Andy has been a wonderful father and husband. I am loving EVERY MINUTE of this!!

You know, this whole having a child experience has really opened my eyes to some things. First of all, people don't tell you everything about having a baby, and that's probably a good thing. Pretty much all women know some of the standard gross details, like pooping when you push, or delivering the placenta, but there are things no one warned me about that really made me wonder if I would have done this had I only known! Of course, after seeing Brittney's face, it was all worth it, but I wonder if I would have wanted to become pregnant at all in the first place. For instance, (SPOILER ALERT) if women who are considering having a baby knew that going to the bathroom afterwards would be like World War III, or that you can actually get MORE stretch marks after the baby is born, they might reconsider the urge to procreate. I'd do it all again in a minute for Brittney, though.

No baby yet

Well, I had another doctor's appointment this morning, and no new news. He "stripped my membranes" (ew...) to try to get things started, which left me hurting and very anxiously laying on a towel counting the seconds between cramps wondering was that a contraction? Andy is just as anxious, asking me periodically "Are we about to go to the hospital?" No, hon... it doesn't appear that way.

.... Damn.

You know, despite how lucky I have been, I think every woman reaches a point, usually BEFORE her due date, when she just wants to not be pregnant anymore and will try just about anything to make that so. Of course, they share all their tricks with first-timers like myself and while a week or so ago I chuckled at the thought of bouncing on a yoga ball playing with my nipples and choking down castor oil, I now find my self thinking It can't really taste THAT bad, can it?

Last night I went out to eat with some friends and decided it would be a good idea to add hot sauce to everything the server put in front of me and then walk the 3(ish) miles back to my house to try to send myself into labor. No labor, but as I meandered home with leg cramps, blistered feet and raging heartburn, I realized something: women will try anything, and then when they coincidentally go into labor while doing one of their little labor-inducing tricks, they credit their labor to said trick. If their water breaks while they are brushing their teeth, it's definitely the Colgate! If they were doing laundry, it's the incredible smell of Downy that did it!

I know so many of you are anxiously awaiting a call, or a post with adorable pics of our little girl, and for that I'm sorry. Apparently my uterus is far too comfortable a place for her... I'll have to work on that.